IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Artery....................................The study of paintings.
Bacteria................................What doctors do when patients die.
Benign..................................What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean ............................Section A neighbourhood in Rome.
Cat scan................................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize.............................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.....................................A sheep dog.
Coma....................................A punctuation mark.
Dilate...................................To live long.
Fester...................................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula...................................A small lie.
Impotent..............................Distinguished, well known.
Labour..................................Pain Getting hurt at work.
Medical................................Staff A Doctor's cane.
Morbid.................................A higher offer.
Nitrates................................Cheaper than day rates.
Node.....................................I knew it.
Outpatient...........................A person who has fainted.
Pelvis....................................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post......................................Operative A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.....................Place to do upholstery.
Rectum................................Nearly killed him.
Secretion.............................Hiding something.
Seizure.................................Roman emperor.
Tablet...................................Small table.
Terminal Illnes.....................Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour...............................One plus one more.
Urine...................................Opposite of you're out.